I had a sad day today. My first ever patient this year, and one of my favourites, is about to die. She has had terminal cancer all year and has been admitted a few times this year and I always enjoy looking after her because she is such a beautiful person. But now its the end of this life for her. She was basically in a coma on my last night duty shift this morning and I don't expect her to be alive when I go back after days off. My 3 favourite patients this year have all died of cancer and I was thinking while driving home this afternoon about why these patients have meant so much to me. Mostly it is because they are exceptional people who I have great admiration for, cancer aside. These people showed great love, grace and fighting spirit. They have qualities that I admire and aspire to have. But what is the connection? Does God let the really great people get cancer so they can inspire people with their fight? Or is it that when faced with death, they realise what is important? That fighting, harsh words, ungraciousness have no worth or gain and have no place in a life that is so short of time. I suppose I have gained a lot from these women. They and their families showed me love when they were in such a difficult time. I had the opportunity to return that love to someone who was most vulnerable. And I hope i can learn from them not to let unimportant things take up space in my life. I can accept that life is short, but I also want to learn to fill my life with things that are worthy for the valuable time that I have.